Someday, I'm gonna snap and just delete this entire thing. It'll be covered in chicken feathers, and shaped like a chicken. Wait till you see her in angry mob form!" Here goes. the whole time, even during the name-calling, seniors were playing with silly string and beachballs. MEOW!MEOW!MEOW! EVIIIIIIIIIIIIL!!!!!! I know. I'm just bored. I'll tell you. You'd have to be an absolute loser (or really bored) to come here. At the same time, how can you prove something IS infinite? These cookies do not store any personal information. Today's lesson is: subliminal messages . I put hyphens in both of his titlesit must be a conspiracy! But I'd like to take this time to thank the 2 and 1/2 people in the entire universe who have bothered to read this entire thing. Now I must take my leaveand remember. I better go. I'll probably have another one soon, but that whole water thing has been buggin me for awhile. we had to get there one hour and fifteen minutes early because there was traffic. WOOF! Some are answers to e-mails, the rest are just stuff I wrote. Just like everyone else in my family. EryeahI'm back. I forgot it's name. [1], As a result, one linguistics textbook concludes that, in theory, "there is no longest English sentence. I'm back. We made a guild, and I wrote out the transcripts of the first ever Asparagus War in narrative form (mock epic, very cheesey) Since it's very, very long, I'll post it here to meet my imaginary word quota for the day! It sucked. It doesn't matter. And that's just what I can list from memory. I'm back again. It's pathetic. I wrote about furby, and how it was fun to watch it die. Sentences can be made arbitrarily long in various ways. And almost never finish. I fought with vegitables, covered myself in bubble wrap, groveled before the Great Banana and dodge skittles and flying doughnuts and rubber chikens. Why do weird people (myself included) obsess about monkeys? My brother(age 13) even decided upon a new job he wants when he's old enough to work, a busboy at the bar. As long as I'm happy, right. If the facts beg to differ, than the facts are wrong. The Blah Story by Nigel Tomm contains the longest known sentence in the English language. Now I do. I'm finnaly back! It didn't. Just like a real psychologist. And I promise not to force you to live when you would rather die. I won't be able to feed my various imaginary pets and friends their beloved imaginary food! I'm pretty sure that the "smelly yellow ball" that he started throwing was his own feces (poo). 1,288 words and many clauses make up the lengthy run-on phrase. I mean, after all, I made this site. It was inspired, in part, by my sheer and utter boredom. Perhaps their just trying to be nice. If you expect nothing and get something, you're happy. Plus, I am horrible at spelling. You CANNOT DENY it! Woooo! I'm back. Why bother asking? I had some conspriacy or another to rant about. After all, I've been to the Really Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything website over 50 times. Today we had a "family outing." Kinda like me and "Meg" webcomic we are trying to do. UNDER SUCH EXTREME HEAT, WEAR AND DEGRADATION IS INEVITABLE!! I have a guest rant/fake commercial written by "Meg" (who is once again banned from accessing the almighty Internet). If she had been in the Matrix, she would have likely been with Morpheus, never would have known about the plan's failure, would therefore not have been in the situation that resulted in her death. Plus, the fire gradually gets louder, and hotter, and smokier. HA! No suprise. Unless we spray-painted the snow purple, too. Which means that it doesn't matter if you understand anything I say. Yes. Yea*waits for applause* okay! I don't want to be in this messI'm going to bed. An enemy so hideous that Moose must destroy it at all costs. Think about it. Or maybe it's notI meanwon't the quality *snicker* of my work deteriorate if I am no longer writing for the target audience of me? And now, back to our featured presentation. What I want to know is this: are there no intelectual property rights in the world of food products? This action has made her very suspicious of where my loyalties lie. Maybe you'll break free. They start out with half that number, and then just fill in words until they have the right amount. This seemed slightly unpracticle, so we ended up not taking that 337 mile detour. I'm back. 4. Also, I guess I still am trying to get the world record. YES, I'M YELLING! Anyway, I just finished rereading my longest text ever. there were bugs. I bet you were just breathless in anticipation. I'm back. It was fun, but exhausting. Especially since I don't have viewers. Hey, it's the 3 r's! It's a sad, cold, cruel world out there and you had nothing to relieve the monotony of it. Now, in today's society of buying groceries on-line and getting them delivered, why hasn't any other food industry marketed this ingenius idea to bring the product to the consumer. HmmmI seem to be entertaining myself though, even while reading what I wrote. *g8ggles* bye. of toilet paper, to do everything. Your subconsious mind acts on whatever it is told. This page won't get a single hit, unless I bribe peoplenow that has possibilities. It's about six contestants who compete to create the worst, least likely "reality" TV show. It's so completly garbled, it's funny. Why, you ask? Moving on, I have nothing else to say, but don't feel like quitting just yet. To prevent this, I did nothing. I confirmed that the Union was Northern and Free, and that the Confederacy was Southern and Slave. Chomp" And he bites it. I don't know if Iraq even existed in the Civil War Era! I may NEVER shut up. Yesthat's rightsuicide. Unless he has already been destroyed by an even more radical Anti-Cartoon-Owl group. (No, I don't like any of those creepy "pop" stars. . I'm backand it's several hours later. The moon has one-sixth of Earth's gravity. But they really were'nt buffoal wings 'cause buffalo's don't have wingscause they come off when they are babies, JOsh says so and he must be right causse he's been having Profound Thoughts even though he cannot remember them. Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gotta go, must lure innocent victems to the second most pointless site ever!!!! Plus, boxes are more convient than bags. Originally from Northern Ireland, she is an artist now based in Berlin. By Ben Lee. maybe the longest text ever. How can you pass up this revolutionary new product? Or suffer my blindingly moronic nail messages. Do you know I never even had a computer untill just a few months ago (that's why I'm obsessivly writing here) So I won't pity you if you're computer dies for unexpected reasons. Any miniute now. RISE UP AND BARE YOUR BISCUIT FILTY FANGS AT THE LEASH WIELDING DEMON!! I previous time when I was studying with her (American Revolution, this time) I was trying to help her remember the difference between the Patriots(Patriotic to America) and the Loyalists (Loyal to Britain) She didn't know what the word patriotic meant. Otherwise, why on earth (beta, krpto, zkdjf, Planet X, whatever) would you be here? I've always known that I was weird, that's always been a given. Time for another boring disclaimer!!!!!!! [9] [10] [11] See also [ edit] Longest word in English Longest words References [ edit] ^ a b Stephen Crain; Diane Lillo-Martin (1999). He tried to kill me! Maybe I should just give up. 5 Wonderfully Long Literary Sentences by Samuel Beckett, Virginia Woolf, F. Scott Fitzgerald & Other Masters of the Run-On, Seven Tips From William Faulkner on How to Write Fiction, William Faulkner Reads from As I Lay Dying, Josh Jonesis a writer and musician based in Durham, NC. We have ZIM, neopets, music, and much, much, more. Subliminal messages are an advertising technique that puts hidden pictures and words into a main image. It's time to warn you, the viewererreaderabout the evils of various stuff. An enemy so terrifying that Moose cannot stop shaking. Perhaps my family is just so weird, we've lost all sense of perspective. Every single person you know could just be figments of your imagination, you could even be in a crazy house! School is taking its toll. HOW, I ask you!? There's more! Well, next time you buy your $3 FREAKIN' dollar bottle of water, consider this. This is specified in Code: 343 of the Flaming Chicken Handbook. It will be a truly magestic site, as it launches from the earth, spewing excess oxygen, cardboard, feathers and tape. And you, the potentially non-existant reader gets a once in a lifetime chance to hear me rant and rave about my Horrible, Horrible Family Vacation. There was something else I had to tell you loyal *cricket chirps, someone coughs* fans. It's the sequel to the movie that revolutionized the standard by which we judge special effects. And any weirdness I could come up with would be normal compared to Noodle Boy, soI bid thee farewellseeya! To support Open Cultures educational mission, please consider, When William Faulkner Set the World Record for Writing the Longest Sentence in Literature: Read the 1,288-Word Sentence from, 100+ Online Degree & Mini-Degree Programs. Neither of us thought to question the other. And I only took the quiz once, too. Well, too bad! I'm bored. Well, you can't possibly have more time than I do. Outside your body. You are deviousI give you that. Hey, I'm back again! Still later that day, she got offended at some trivial thing and decided that we weren't going anywhere at all. They could do anything they wanted to, if they just put their minds to it. Though the record has been broken, Faulkner's legacy lives on. To compound the EVIL situationI was forced to wear feminine shoes. The huge run-on sentence consists of 1,288 words and countless clauses. Hello, everyone! what I fear comes right after here not this life or the next will I ever be able to pass the test? Wasn't that semi-entertaining? I tell people I know about this site, but they either ignore this page, or don't even bother coming to the site in the first place. Start typing without any idea about what it is I intend to say. In a moment of inspiration, I asked her who America fought. Aren't they regressed to a child-like state? Or his mom did. Now, some of you are probably thinking "Gee, Really? i'm back. Seeya. School children won't be able to correctly identify the color of a zebra. When I think of how much money people WASTE on appearences, it makes me feel like projectile vomiting. It's strange. Squirell? Sentences can also be extended by recursively embedding clauses one into another, such as[2][3], This also highlights the difference between linguistic performance and linguistic competence, because the language can support more variation than can reasonably be created or recorded. But, believe me, it's MUCH more practical than the alternative. Experience vague, pain-like sensations when you're not paying attention) This has been a public service announcement. I have to get up really early to leave for home. Stock up now with our Valu-Pak to recieve 3-metric tons of Ketchup, all for the low, low price of your brain, since you're obviously not using it anyway. Anywaythat was my family vacation rant. Now, wasn't that a fun list!? HmmmmI suppose I should clarify that the Pikachu game was 3-D and your character was in first person mode(you see through character's eyes). I sincerely appologize if anyone is offended by my view of memorization. I know, I took you completly by suprise. I'm just as upset about this unfortunate lack of development in the pie division. But true. There is always someone worse off and better off than you. Each Friday, I wait (all tingly with anticipation) for the weekend so that I can stay up 'till the wee hours of the morning and sleep past noon. A post shared by Worlds Best Story (@worldsbeststory). Shoot them down like the dogs they are! and Jones: Sho, Kernel; sho now and catching him as he fell and commandeering the first passing wagon to take him to the house and carry him up the front steps and through the paintless formal door beneath its fanlight imported pane by pane from Europe which Judith held open for him to enter with no change, no alteration in that calm frozen face which she had worn for four years now, and on up the stairs and into the bedroom and put him to bed like a baby and then lie down himself on the floor beside the bed though not to sleep since before dawn the man on the bed would stir and groan and Jones would say, flyer I am, Kernel. Dum-B-Gon stimulates brain activity, making you up to 10 times smarter! Pikachu! I mean, come on! What ever shall I do? WellI DO have a special treat for you weirdos who apparantly like wasting time! With our patented "spray". So far this is nowhere near the world record. She didn't think it was weird, either. Once upon a terribly dreadful time, there was a small cat-licking bird that lived on a lane by my house whose name was Charles just like every other soul, male or female, that lived on my smelly, stinky, orange, old, rotten, messy, busted cul-de-sac between . That made little sense. Past editions of The Guinness Book of World Records have listed this record. They're listening for a secrretno it's cause of a secret. This is a list of unusually long mathematical proofs. It's early. I'm leavingnow I'm back! I few months ago I saw a movie about that. I don't care if I'd get home only an hour or so before I normaly do. You know, the foreign guys with the bellhop hats and the little music thingy and the cute little monkey with the bellhop hat who collects the money? NowI'm gonna go and worry about the light on my toaster ovenseeya! Even though my schedule is technically supposed to be completly differnt. I worked for four hours at the "Library of Terror" sponsered by TAB. Conviently, ice cream trucks come around during the hottest part of the year (it must be a conspiracy). All because YOU tried to convince me that I was crazy. I'm glad you're not just in my life but that you're my better half. That way I can just outlaw the need for gravity and air pressure! World's largest sentence. I can just see it nowan organization devoted not to feeding the hungry, or peace, or love or whatever, but to giving recognition to all those poor, pathetic, unpopular websites. I'm just basically typing nothing. Why are you afraid of little ol' me? So my goal changed from surviving to laughing evilly while my character died. Which is exactly what it gets. There are now longer sentences in English writing. we clapped. If that happens, then no one will read this. The first use of "had had" is a modifier, and the second instance serves as the main verb of the sentence. Just make sure you "spray" your food first. I SENSE YOUR ENVY OF MY NECK!! Of course, when I next saw my Mom, she retold the story to me, several times. Who'd thought that I could use time that many times in only a few sentences? I could be playing neopets, but ever since my bad experience with Treasure Planet, I don't feel like it. Sonaturally I put her arch-enemy in my pocket and brought it home with me. -works best on pc/laptop. It only takes a little light to help those thingies, and smoke detectors provide more than a little. Pythagoras Theorem is a + b = c. I feel like I'm playing questions only on whose line is it anway. Code: 742 of the Flaming Chickens Handbook states that in no part does the Patron Saint of Paper Clips (That's still me!) Hmmmmmhas any old, senile person ever written anything? Immediatly, my mother started complaining. Add comment. They add random minerals to our water to make it taste better, and then advertise it as pure! (and redundancy!) I think that they should routinly die a slow, savage, agonizing deathI was just saying a random thing that I would never, ever do.) You don't know who Squirell is? Okay, the whole braves thing is made up. And I sugest that we build the rocket so that we can go to the Official Flaming Chickens Lunar Colony so that we can laugh at the stupid earthlings who are blowing up because they didn't listen to us when we tried to warn them about the impending doom! Right now, I'm just typing so that no one can say that I've been slacking off. Today, I met her arch-enemy. *sigh* My dogs are just weird. It MUST be true! Is anyone even reading this? (Think of the fake-looking Star Trek aliens). Any way, I'm leaving to eat some Cheessy goodness! There were many people that were the same age as me and my siblings (no one in the room but us were under 30) Us kids had to be dragged kicking and screaming from the bar ( I almost fell asleep during the last game I watched) As we left, there was a feeling of goodwill and fellowship between all(my sister locked me out of the car and wouldn't let me in untill I started yelling profanity in her general direction) The high point of the entire night was when my mother gave me $21 for my report card. You expect far to much of the inanimate world. Did you know that statistics prove that 45% of all statistics are completly made up by me (The Patron Saint of Paperclips)? Otherwise, I guess you're stuck with me. Did you know, that Kodak was part of the conspiracy to assasinate John F. Kennedy. We got there, we ate. | 13.63 KB, JSON | I was almost completly covered in (fake) bloodit was sticky toward the end. See? Or perhaps not. That's it, I'm gonna take drastic measures! Or maybe you're just skimming. from graduation. You're only browsing it. Wellprepare to be enlightened. Ya know ya got ya ya girl ya ya know ya ya boy you got caught with them and then ya got a robot in the car with a car in your head that was the best dog ever and you can call me and call him when I wanna is it time I get off work I will see if I gotta I wanna is a time I got a ride truck truck ride and iiiuuyr. It took him to my quiz page. After a film adaptation of Salinger's 'The Catcher in the Rye,' writer, artist and director Nigel Tomm publishes the longest sentence which contains the longest word. I just can't work up the energy to be outraged. You don't belong here. Number Seven: I could drive people crazy. Anyway, only watch wal-mart if you WANT to be subliminaly entertained into purchasing a new set of TUPERWARE, even though your old set is PERFECTLY fine. I mean, don't you think the creators of Cheese-Nips had a box of Cheez-Its out when they were designing their product? Where is the logic in this? Surely you have heard of her? After a horrific chain of events (is it coincidence, or fate) the people who will deactivate the secondary power source of the building Neo is infiltrating, die. The 2.4 million words sentence is published in four volumes of Nigel Tomm's novel 'The Blah Story' (i.e., volumes 16, 17, 18 and 19). Sothe plan is going to fail. This is just way too much of a change at once. longest text ever (most deleted bc max 40000 letters) : (. That way, she can pass the test without actually learning anything. I don't have much of a choice about the whole work thing. But I can't think of anything to write about. Today I will be mercifully brief. It'd probley be as popular as those game shows that no one's ever heard of. Python | We can only hope that the digital camera manufacturers are kinder masters than the evil Kodak Lords. He may have had no intention of inspiring postmodern fiction, but one of its best-known novelists, Barth, only found his voice by first writing a heavily Faulknerian marsh-opera. Many hundreds of experimental writers have had almost identical experiences trying to exorcise the Oxford, Mississippi modernists voice from their prose. Then, in an inspired move, my brother talked my mother into letting him sit up front. I think. Think about that old saying about "If you gave an infinite number of monkeys an infinite number of typewriters, eventually they would reproduce the entire works of Shakespear". about my site, and called me weird. That is justpathetic. I'm going. Before you know it, we'll have orange alligators, pink tigers and blue lions. I thought it was. Fire is good. They particularly liked how I said that she went back and ran over it 11 more times. I tried to explain. Seeya. And so I'm in deep doo-doo. Death is like life in that after you die some things start life again inside of you. It's a worthy cause! If you don't like it, start your own longest text ever. Although why you'd be here if you didn't want to read is beyond me. I love my calculator, though. And if you expect something and get nothing, you feel cheated. Code: 888 of The Flaming Chickens Handbook states that The Patron Saint of Paperclips (still me) is always right. Not only that, Dum-B-Gon: stimulates weight loss, cures "any" illness, does simple houshold chores, never leaves the toilet seat up and is the perfect gentle companion for your kids. I probley wouldn't actually print this out (think how much paper it would take!) Okay, I'm done with that litte commercial. I promise. It even SOUNDS weird. According to my theory that everything is real. I know, I'll start of list of why it's fun/good to be insane/weird! We KNEW how terrible it was, but we just didn't bother to change it. (the mindless fight scenes were really cool, too). The only reason the makers of Cheese-Nips don't get sued is because of the tast difference and Cheese Nips are made of real "cheese" rather than cheez. But, for a time, Faulkner took the run-on as far as it could go. Unless, of course, the government was smart enough to have cameras without the blinkie light. The World's Largest Maths Problem Has Been Solved, And It. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. Okay, back to the flaming-chickens LTE rivalry. Okay. My family has always bought Cheez-Its, to the point of making me physically sick at the thought of eating one. or possibly "Who or What is Kodak". (*%$ WHAT THE %$#@ WAS MY MOTHER $#$#%$# THINKING!!!!!!!???? Pure means, well, no extra stuff. longest possible text for discord. I hadn't had a genuine sugar rush since I was 11. When you look at them they are identical to the evil little Cheez-Its. But for now I can only dream of that. | 13.45 KB, JSON | So am I. And so, I'll take a trip down memory lane, to the dark depths of the past, to when I decided to make this page. You don't see them, but your subconsious (dreaming) mind does. !STARE DEEP INTO THE STINKING ABYSS OF MY INDIVIDUALLY WRAPPED SLICES!!! He always enjoyed it because it meant that somewhere, he was the Supreme Dictator of the Galaxy. No matter how unlikely something is, if the universe is infinite, it's happening an infinite number of times. In return for not taking the easy route, he gains a power in the more or less real world. I came up with this philosophy when I was in fifth grade. William Faulkner in 1954 (Photo: Wikimedia Commons Public Domain)This post may contain affiliate links. **** THAT LIPSTICKS THE WRONG COLOR FOR YOU!! So, it is now up to you, the imaginary reader, to decide whether I mean probley or problemit's almost like a game! Wow. Although, as I said, there's no way to prove me wrong OR right. G. (f(t)) d(t) = - Here is the same long equation with a single equation number. When I play a gambling game, there is a possibility that I'll lose everything, so I start on negative however much NP I have with me. But studying the way that Faulkner wrote when he turned to the subjects he knew best provides an object lesson on how powerful a literary resource intimacy can be. We got to go to a bar and play pool!!!!! That way I can spread my love, joy and insane chaos to more people! It makes me sad*sniffle* WellI feel better now. Awwwwisn't he cute? The end is not here. And absolutly NO air-pressure. Because it is in those veyr colors that the Matrix is programmed! It is the extraordinary sensory quality of his prose that enabled Faulkner to get away with writing the longest sentence in literature, at least according to the 1983 Guinness Book of World Records, a passage from Absalom, Absalom! Or, as an alternative, I could have ruined several plans for world domination that other people made. I dunnoI guess I'm just kinda freaked out. It's wrong, I tell you. If you'll look toward the bottom of this page, you'll notice that I added a nifty little thing called the "babel fish". By the time the smoke dector goes off, the fire has drowned it out to no more than an annoying buzz. Unfortunalty, several of those reasons LEGITAMITLY apply to a certain activity I do every Tuesday, which WILL NOT BE NAMED HERE LEST I GIVE IT POWER OVER ME! It was as if it had been just sitting therewaiting for me to discover it. Or would it be cheating if I didn't have multiple personalities? I SEE YOUR GAME! I have officialy run out of ways I could have better spent my time. I'm gonna go hug a moose. If the universe is infinite it would be crazy to think that we're alone. And ever loony in America decided that it was a conspiracy. I don't exactly have a good track record with virtual pets. Called the Boolean Pythagorean Triples problem, it was Solve Now. Imagine a number line that points in the positive and negative direction. e)My psychotic bunny predicted I'd die doing it. Advertisement. It feels unstoppable, and then it stops. I clarified, which countries fought in the Civil War. I think. You can't blame me. ONly not really. Remember: if the show sucks, it's their fault, not ours! And secret? Then you'll see these cute little "days-of-the-week" earrings at the mall, and you'll just have to get a few sets, just in case you lose some. Okay. Subscribe!function(m,a,i,l,s,t,e,r){m[s]=m[s]||(function(){t=a.createElement(i);r=a.getElementsByTagName(i)[0];t.async=1;t.src=l;r.parentNode.insertBefore(t,r);return !0}())}(window,document,'script','https://www.openculture.com/wp-content/plugins/mailster/assets/js/button.min.js','MailsterSubscribe'); 2006-2023 Open Culture, LLC. Before we knew it, we were on the road. Every fantasy the human mind has concieved exist at some place in the universe. But the secret doesn't exist so they are stupid. Now, most families will go bowling, or putt-putt golfing. You're shocked at my selfish, bad, memory. 44 min ago I want an elective. Bye! *gigles* It milght have been a sugar rush 'cause now we're having a sugar crash. It was one of my friends. But my idiotic body has an automatic alarm clock, or something. Then you'll need an "extra" pairfor special occasions. Define three functions: the first function to extract all the sentences, the second to determine the longest sentence, and the third to determine the average sentence length. Sleeping is fun. If you make a purchase, My Modern Met may earn an affiliate commission. dont you know that you only need be afraid of fear and never anything here and certainly not a post that acts like a ghost? The answer is still infinity. Obviously, you know this. while others are thinking "Who's John F. Had this been an actual emergency, we would have bought up all the can openers and charged 3 cows and a pig for each one. 17 min ago WE got it at Wal-mart. I think. You just let me rant on and on for you KNEW that eventually I would confuse myself with my vast puddle of knowledge. Which would be boring. I suppose I could let someone else have the glory. It tooked about envelooping (enveloping) cracked nuts and parables. Or maybe not. does not, has never, and will absolutly NOT admit to having any weaknessbesides the aformention indivduals own skin, which isn't even a weakness anyway since no representative of the Dark, Fluffier Side can BE the Patron Saint of Paperclips (Guess, whononoTHAT'S IT!) Yes. This is the LONGEST TEXT EVER! 16 min ago In any case, she is clearly insane. What's that. Did you understand that? The actually think that their skin's efforts to protect them are ATTRACTIVE. The six longest sentences (1,000+ words) are mostly a curiosity, just to see what is possible. Seeya. *sniffle* i do, too. It hurt. Oh, by the way, I was paid a decent compliment today. OH, SO SPLENDID!! I have an extra-special rant for you all today, to celebrate the new domain name! That's why. Next semester will be almost exactly like this one. Then, she accidently woke our three yappy dogs up, and they relized that they were in a car. *content sigh* There we gothat's much better. (Next Commercial) Get ready fo: Faux's new "reality" TV show, "How Low Can We Go?" One guy was a "shock therepy" patienthe was a good actor. In any case, I hope you enjoyed our patheticness. Let's seewhat have I ranted about before, subliminal messages, vast breakfast cereal conspiracies, water, uhreality tv? It's not like I have anything better to do. You would be correct in your suspiciousnessfor Mooses arch-enemy is*dramatic drumroll*a small, white, feather. But never senile. This annoyed my mother further, untill she asked, no, demanded that my father turn the car around so that we could go home. Uhdon't think soNumber Four: I could have learned to drive. Although I acted like an idiot. You people sicken me. Never mind. It tells me stuff like: "Warning: More Solutions May Exist" and "Questionable Accuracy".

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